The Terminator Mode and all that goes with it

🚨 WARNING! 🚨

We are not machines! I share with you an honest, real-life story about “Terminator Mode” and what happens when we overwork ourselves. 😓

A time when everything was at its peak: success, projects, exams… Then came the slap. A slap that even I was floored by. 🤯

“Don’t wait until you have cancer to delegate”

Remember: health is our greatest treasure! 💎🩺

I recently went through a period that could best be described as “Terminator Mode”. A time when work, effort, progress and commitment were at their peak.

University exams, amazing business successes with my team, publishing poster maps and magazines for several regions at the same time, registering hundreds of online profiles, launching new services, pouring out content, travelling to all professional events, participating in a meaningful way…

Clearly, I needed all 7 of the 7 days (for 3 months!), and I praised the nights because I was sure my phone wasn’t ringing then, so I could make even more progress. What an opportunity, right? At night and on weekends you can only really go big and concentrate 100% (in hindsight, how counterproductive this theory is)

The results were amazing and every day I felt like nothing could stop me!

I wasn’t particularly proud of myself (I could have been), I didn’t really indulge in the celebration, because I was already heading for the next staircase and lifting my feet.

But, since we are not machines, by not paying attention to the little signs (hand tremors, eye tics, because of the constant sleeplessness I would have given the coffee intravenously if possible, I didn’t even go out on the terrace to smoke so I didn’t waste time with it, so I had a cigarette in my mouth all the time in front of the machine, weight loss), I got a slap in the face that even I couldn’t get up from.

The adrenaline was pumping until the printers called back to say that everything was fine, we had finished everything we had planned and it was 4 o’clock on Monday afternoon. I passed my master’s exam on global marketing strategies, (in 8 minutes after having processed 1000 pages in English in 1 week!). At 4.15 I sat on the terrace with a cappuccino and was happy to get back to work. However, on the terrace on the sofa, I was suddenly overcome by a strange sensation (my blood pressure dropped) and I had to get up with help.

It took so long to charge the Terminator, run down the computer, again everything was more important than myself.

My husband took me by the arm, walked me into the bedroom, and for a week after that I got out of bed only long enough to go to the bathroom – but often I held myself back from going because it hurt to have the strength to stand on my feet. I reduced my energy bill, and it went hard into minus. I had no strength or energy to draw from.

I had migraine attacks that I thought I would never get better. I thought about it, maybe I’m going crazy, that’s it, I’m screwed, maybe forever.

My body and my mind needed not only a rest, but also a complete restart.

Within a week we got to the point where I had to force bottled baby food down my throat to get anything down my throat (I wouldn’t have thought so, but they are delicious, especially the veggie-pulled ones, but don’t bother).

After a week, when I was able to get dressed, I took stock of myself and everything the doctor had told me.

– I forget to eat

– I forget to replenish fluids (coffee is not a fluid…)

– I forget to rest (and even sleep)

– I forget to look out for the first signs

– I forget that I am not the Terminator

My blood pressure is so low (even after half a litre of coffee) that the doctor says “I wonder how you have it”… What did I expect?

Of course I was scared, very scared!

You know what was the first thing that came to my mind?

My God, what will happen to the company now if I die here … but even if I don’t, I’ll be out for weeks? Is it clear to everyone what is going to happen in the next few weeks or are we always in on something and reacting to it? What about the tasks that I specifically do and no one is trained to do? I’m the only one who knows the important access codes, I’m in contact with the accounting department, the printer… who will prepare the VAT? Who will pay the wages? Who will design the next projects? Who will bill you? My God, everything stops here!

And not because no one else can do it but me, but because I haven’t delegated very important processes yet…

Not to mention the fact that I have neglected my family recently. My mother regularly looks for me and not the other way round. I haven’t called my grandmother back in over a week (I even put it in my calendar as a “task” – embarrassing, not embarrassing… and now I don’t have the nerve to just set it up but I’ll have to apologize). And I could go on and on about the last time my friends saw me, sometimes they just show up at my door because they don’t know what’s going on.

Science confirms this. A study in the National Library of Medicine shows that social relationships – both in quantity and quality – influence mental health, health behaviour, physical health and mortality risk. Social isolation has a drastic effect on individuals. Adults who are more active in their social relationships are healthier and live longer than their more isolated counterparts.

I have a loving family, loving friends who I consider my brothers and sisters – why the hell do I have to put that on my calendar to remember to look for my inner circle? When I love being with them! Yeah, I like it when I don’t have to think about how much stuff is going on… and that’s the problem. When we rest, we rest. You don’t have to think and work every moment (even if you love what you do and build it yourself).

It is therefore important to find a balance between work and rest. Overworking not only puts our physical health at risk, but also our mental health.

I know – funny! Just a couple of weeks ago I shared an article with this title, about how we had escaped to Siófok for a few days because we were exhausted. And it seems only the wind was blowing my p*ss. Then I only got a small slap, now I might get a big one. 🙂

Proper time management and rest are not luxuries, but necessities.

From time to time I have to realise how true this is. I’m playing with my destiny, pushing my limits, and trusting that this latest slap in the face was big enough for even me to finally pay more attention to myself. Because in the long run, it doesn’t pay off if I’m out for days or weeks afterwards. Let’s not even talk about – and I’ll end up taking the blame – what if I have permanent problems, illnesses.

In October, I attended a lecture where the speaker (I don’t want to name him but he is one of Hungary’s top managers) had a very strong message for the managers listening to him:

“Don’t wait until you have cancer to delegate.”

This sentence touched me deeply.

On the one hand, because unfortunately I have had very close experiences with these serious illnesses – and on the other hand, it is up to us to make sure that we are not overburdened. If you have all the tools, then Shame.

And twice more he underlined the importance of rest and good management of our time in our lives.

So, dear follower, please learn from my irregular life, remember to rest and listen to your body.

I’ll be paying much more attention from now on, because the babysitting is delicious and there’s an endless amount of trash on the commercial channels during the day (you wouldn’t believe that the Mónika show and the Balázs show are still on (let’s have a laugh)…. EN!

HEALTH IS OUR GREATEST TREASURE, AND THERE IS ONLY ONE.

“Health is all we need, we’ll buy the rest “, says the famous Hofi quote, and there is something to it. Shit, how much more do you have!

Aletta Nagy-Kozma