I’ve been meaning to write these lines for years, because it’s one of my favourite films, both for its mood and its subject matter. Some films just stick with me. For example, Lolita in 2024 played at least 2x every week while I was working, you can count how many times last year… 😊 Now this film is on, I’ve got it on and it’s just spinning and spinning in the background. It’s interesting that it’s not a comedy, but rather depressing, deep thoughts, problems to be solved, face-palming. But this is not about me. 😉
Mihály Schwechtje’s film holds up a mirror in which we may not want to see ourselves. In “I hope you manage to die next time 😊” is not only a bitter and scary drama about cyberbullying, it is also an exploration of a much deeper social problem: the modern paradox of connection and isolation. The film explores the everyday dilemmas of Generation Z and the darker side of digital existence through the eyes of a Generation X director – a contrast that adds to the weight of the story.
A generation that can never be truly alone, yet lonelier than ever
The promise of social media was to connect us. That it would be easier to connect, that the world would become more accessible. But what happened to that? A generation that is always online, yet never feels truly visible.
The film’s protagonist, Esther, is a typical teenager: she longs for love, attention and for someone to really understand her. To the best of Eszter’s knowledge, that someone is her English teacher, who she can only keep in touch with online because he has moved to England with his family (yes, he has a wife and a newborn child, but I don’t think Eszter, who is under 18, should be condemned for that).
The problem is that the online space makes it easy to exploit Esther’s needs. One of the most basic traits of human nature – the need to belong – has become one of the biggest pitfalls of the digital age. Esther’s story reminds us of the painful truth that a world of seemingly endless possibilities is in fact a labyrinth in which it is easy to get lost. But of course, you can still become addicted to it, and even fall in love with it – who defines that as what it is.
However, as love is discussed, so too are conflicting experiences and emotions – In the digital space, there is no break, no escape, and the bullying doesn’t end at the school gates. On the web, victims are available 24/7 and their vulnerability is ever-present. Cyberbullying, catfishing and emotional manipulation are threats that many people still do not take seriously enough – even though the stakes can be life or death.
Perhaps as adults it’s harder to remember realistically how we felt as teenagers, when we had a break-up or a disappointment (of course, in hindsight we can embellish the memories and see that it was a shame to be sad), then and there, it was very bad. Without life experience, without wisdom, without vision, it hurts a little more when we fall.
Generational differences and lack of meaningful communication make young people even more vulnerable. Parents and teachers are often unaware of the serious emotional consequences of seemingly innocent online activities (a new acquaintance, a seemingly innocent chat, a post demanding attention).
X vs. Z: A director who understands young people but is not one of them
Mihály Schwechtje is himself a member of Generation X – a generation that came from the analogue world but has learned to adapt to digital reality. One of the most interesting aspects of the film is that it tries to understand the problems of young people from an outsider’s perspective. It doesn’t try to lecture, moralise or say “what about our time” – instead, it sensitively and accurately portrays the world in which today’s teenagers live.
This external perspective paradoxically makes the film even more authentic. As Schwechtje is not a member of Generation Z, he sees from the outside the processes that young people take for granted. Adults often underestimate the power and impact of social media, because for them the online space is more a tool than a parallel reality. For young people, however, the two are one and the same.
The film appeals not only to teenagers, but also to parents and teachers. Adults are often looking for simple answers to problems they don’t really understand. Advice such as “don’t take it to heart”, “turn off the phone” or “stop crying again” doesn’t work in a world where being online is part of identity.
Saying “Just delete the message” might be as meaningless to today’s teenagers as telling a medieval peasant not to be afraid of witches.
What can we do? A film that doesn’t give answers, just asks the right questions
In “I hope you manage to die next time 😊” doesn’t want to tell a story. He doesn’t offer easy solutions, because there are no easy solutions. What it does do is to start a dialogue. About the responsibility of parents, teachers, the media and young people themselves.
The social discourse is still not ready to take the consequences of online harassment seriously. The internet is often treated as if it were a parallel universe where “not real” things happen – even though virtual wounds can be just as deep as real ones. Not to mention the scars young people can inflict on themselves to manifest virtual harm.
One of the film’s greatest virtues is that it is not overly dramatic, yet it is painfully real. It doesn’t want to convey a lip-service message, but to give a sense of the world in which today’s teenagers live. And that is why every generation should watch it.
A question everyone should ask themselves
Let’s face it. The digital world is not going away. Social media, online connections and online identities are playing an increasingly important role in our lives. If you ban it, they will still use it. But if we don’t learn to understand this world better and start to use it more responsibly, then Esther’s story will not be an isolated case, but an increasingly common tragedy.
So the question is not whether young people can be completely protected from online dangers. It’s whether we are willing to really listen to them before it’s too late. (And even more fortunate if they share it with us).
I don’t have any experience in this, but I still feel responsible for it, even in advance! And I have to admit that I am already depressed by this question.
I’d like to invite non-parents and parents to a discussion, what do you think?
What should or can be done to reduce children’s exposure?
Because danger is inevitable. Even though when I was young, I didn’t have a smartphone, I didn’t have 24/7 internet access, I was still in danger. So what can we do now ?
Who will look after us in the digital space if we don’t know we are in danger?
